high end fashion jewelry wholesale 1. The principal and English teacher went to a middle school in France to visit. The principal gave a speech in the auditorium, and the English teacher made a translation. Principal: "Teachers, classmates!" English teacher: "Ladies and Gentlemen!" _-! After thinking about it, "Good Morning!" President: "Good morning!" English teacher: ... == "sweat
2. The ground is too dazzling. He must wear sunglasses to see things, but he couldn't find sunglasses, so he closed his eyes and climbed to the ground to find, climbing, and climbing his hands and feet to find sunglasses. Wearing sunglasses and shining in the mirror, I found out: Oh, I was a panda
3. A polar bear stayed lonely on the ice in the ice. Play, one, two, three, one last one, and then he died cold.
4. There was a bird in the past. Unfortunately, one day the corn field fire broke out, and all corn became popcorn !!! After the birds flew over ... I thought it was snowing, and it was cold.
5. Xiaoming Xinzheng sent the post. The next day came to the school. The classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiaoming, your head shape is like a kite! Xiaoming feels very wronged, and ran outside and crying, crying and crying He flew up.
6. The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly rejected it. None of the mixed people.
7. One day in the summer, two bananas are walking on the road. The banana in front suddenly feels hot. He said, so hot, I want to take off my clothes off. Drop. As a result, he peeled off the skin. As a result, the banana behind the banana fell. Then the banana that took off his clothes became a banana ~
8. One day, the three explorers finally finally finally Find the "Valley of Hope". In the legend, as long as you stand by the valley and shout what you want, and then jump in the valley, you will get what you want. So the three of them decided to try it out. Look. The first is a ghost, so he shouted "Woman! woman! "The beauty of the next jumping fruit is really waiting for him. The second is a nerd, shouting" Book, book book! "Then, jumping to the valley also got a book full of pits. The third is an indecisive person. Zuo Zuo thought that he could not decide his favorite. After an hour, he finally made up his mind to determine I think it's the most useful banknote, so he walked to the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone, and he scolded "Shit! "Unexpectedly, a center of gravity fell down the valley.
9. Xiaoming, I will test the nest tomorrow, but at night, I watched TV . Xiaoming's mother asked worried: Is the book finished? ? Tomorrow I want to take the exam. Imming will quickly answer: Mom, I finish reading. Muming Mom is very happy to praise Xiaoming: good, then you must get good tomorrow Xiaoming Crying and saying: Mom, I mean, "Mom, I see, it's finished '.
10. Panda loves the deer deeply, but it is rejected when expressing love. Panda roar ~ Why? Why is it all? The deer said timidly: My mother said, all the bad teenagers in sunglasses
11. One day Xiaoming walked on the road! Suddenly, he felt sour! Why is this? Because Xiaoming stepped on the lemon!
12. Which of the most characters in Chinese characters is the coolest? Through pants (cool) "coin" to "coin": Child. When you put on a doctoral hat, you are worth hundreds of times. "ruler" said: Sister, the result came out. You are pregnant with twins. "Chen" said to "giant": the same area as you. I have three rooms and two halls.
13. One day, a university teacher asked a student. There were ten birds on the tree. A shot was shot and how many left? The student asked: Is it a silent pistol? Isn't the gunflow? 80-100 decibels. Isn't bird and criminal in this city? No offender. Are you sure the bird was really killed? Sure. At this time, the teacher was impatient: "You tell me how many birds left, OK? Is there a deaf in the birds on the tree? No. Did you be locked in a cage and hung on the tree? No. Is there any other trees on the side, whether there are other birds on the tree? No. If there are birds pregnant, is it a bird in the belly? Isn't it? Is there a flower with a bird? Ten. Teachers are already sweating, and the bells are ringing, but the students continue to ask: Are there any birds who are not afraid of death? Are you afraid of death. Will you kill two? No. Students are full of confidence in confidence Said: If your answer is not deceived, "If the birds killed, if you hang it on the tree, there is one left. If it falls, there will be no left. When the teacher spit white foam on the ground!
14. One day, someone passed the crossroads and found a super horrible thing. He found that Kakashi and Sun Wukong were laughing!
15. A long time ago, one night, there were three shrimp in the pond, hahaha, a female ghost put a fart to death.
16. A female star who engaged in biological research came to the earth. After turning around, she felt that there was a lot of human genes to learn from, so she caught a man and wanted to take him with Bring a text information about human genes. The volume of the spacecraft is small, and the information cannot be taken away. At the time of anxiety, the computer's computer helped the system: "There is a small stick on this person to solve all your problems ..." At this time, she suddenly realized, and said with a smile to the man, "..... .. Give me the U disk! ".
17. There was a trap and crossing the road. As a result, he was accidentally pressed by the truck. When he was dying, he looked at his body. "
18. Big brother, don't touch it! You touched the upper and down, Mao made you touch it. Such tender skin flowed by you! How do you let me sell in the future? This peach is fresh, even if you don't buy it!
19. There was a lamb in the past. One day he went out to play, but he met the big gray wolf. The big gray wolf said: I want to eat you! Intersection Intersection The lamb was shocked! Guess, what's the result? As a result, the big gray wolf ate the lamb.
20. There was a swordsman in the past. The others were very cold, the heart was cold, and the sword was cold. Finally, it was cold
21. Intersection Lu Da was frightened and ran faster, and finally became a highway
22. There was a tomato, which was mixed with stones and broke. There is also a tomato forcs. Numerous tomatoes have broken the last tomato and fell! Tomato sauce!
23. Lian John is annoyed: Damn, what can you do? Come on the price compensation.
24. One day, three small pigs built three huts in order to avoid the chase of the big gray wolf. The big gray wolf blows out the cottage, the wooden house, the brick house, and the three piglets to run desperately, but they are still caught up by the big gray wolf. The three piglets said desperately, do you look at it. We gave up, what about you. At this time, the big gray wolf laughed and kept saliva and said, "Then tell me where is the little red hat?
25. The elephant ranked in the middle of the road. A ant just passed by. It looked up at the peak of the clouds and mist, and could not help but sing: Ah Laosuo, this is the Qinghai -Tibet Plateau! ~~~~
26. When there is no paper on the railway, don't worry, the train will remind you: rubbing, rubbing, pants wipe! When a large number of paper is on the river, don't worry, the frog will tell you: stick, stick, stick!
27. There are two fake banknotes with fake banknotes with two fake banknotes. The two decided to get it from remote mountainous areas. They cried, and the farmers found them two 7 yuan.
28. The new phone call of someone happened to be refunded in the cinema, so people often call to ask the movie in the screening. At the beginning, he always explained that the phone was not a movie theater. It is already him now. Please do n’t call it again in the future. For a long time, he feels so annoying, so he said briefly when he received such a call: “You made a mistake!” It also saved some saliva. One day the other party came with a familiar voice: "What kind of film is being released now?" He said as usual: "You're wrong!" After a while, the other party replied, "Is it a domestic or foreign film?
29. One person climbed the wall out of school and was caught by the principal. The principal asked: Why not walk from the school gate? What? He pointed to his pants and said: Li Ning, everything is possible. The principal asked again: What does it feel like over the wall? He pointed to the shoes and said: When I entered the school in the main entrance, the principal asked: Why don't I turn over the wall? He said: Anta, I choose, I like it. On the third day he wore a mixed noodle, the principal said: " Clothing. On the fourth day he wore a vest to school, the principal said that he could not wear a vest to school. He said, man, simple, Ai -Castle clothing. The principal said I want to remember you. , I am the master of my site.
30 Life is really boring. Last month, one of my buddies borrowed 4,000 yuan from me to do a plastic surgery, but now I do n’t know him at all. What is it look like, OH4000.
31. The robbery notice: The staff of the Bank only understands Spanish. Please be patient when robbery. n 32. Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, you have to throw the stone towards my head!
33. When donating blood, a hundred milliliters of lards flowed out.
34. Tourist: Master, is the grass house there? Monk: Except for that grass house, the rest are all places are all places. Toilet.
35. The hair is no trace, and the dandruff is more outstanding!
36. The stool and the urine are good brothers. I said: I really want to stool ...
37. I signed up for a weight loss training class yesterday. They asked me to wear loose clothes during training. What to sign up?
38. My wife and I have not spoken for 18 months. I have no chance to interrupt her. n39. Money? Thief B: No, just read the newspaper tomorrow.
40. Go.
42. Wear other people's shoes, take their own way, and let them find it. n43. Late at night, a young woman suddenly passed a psychiatric hospital, suddenly suddenly A "wow" came from behind. The woman turned her head and looked at it. The man of naked was chasing her. The woman was frightened and ran away. Kneeling on the ground and crying: "If you want to do whatever you want, just ask you not to kill me. The man smiled slyly and said, "Really? Then you start chasing me now. "
44. A literary party, the host came to the stage to report: below, please enjoy: Xinjiang song and dance, set off your skull! The whole audience is silent, creepy!!! n45. The tiger does not get a cat, you are sick when I am sick!
46. Our dormitory drinks too much to pee and then bring out a cold story: drink too much urine, the wine is particularly more wine, so there is a lot of wine. .
47. Go to Li Ning to buy shoes with my sister. My sister said: "Miss, how much is this shoe a pound? "
48. Previously, someone came to my aunt's house as a guest and just entered the door. Just my aunt was going to the toilet. Tea drink! "
49. During the college, a student and I argued with me, at the end of the wind. R n 50. When I was a kid, the popsicle ice cream was pushed with a bicycle for sale. Once, I listened to a aunt in the house and shouted: The new ice cream is hot. R n 51. My colleague argued with others, and hurriedly opened his mouth, "Do you think I grew up eating?" "I have been wondering what he eats."
52. KTV songs at a time, and shouted at a MM loud: "Double Jaylen" of the stick in the first week.
53. One day in the big forest, the fox is sucking marijuana. At this time, the little rabbit runs from a distance. When you see it all, come over and say: How can you suck cannabis, do you do it, and do it. Not good, look, how fresh the air, come and run with me. The fox thought about it, so they ran with the little rabbit and ran. They saw that the elephant was sucking heroin. The little rabbit ran over and said to the elephant: Elephant, elephant, what do you do? How fresh the air, run with me. The elephant wants to come and go together. Running and running, seeing the lion rolled up his sleeves, he was about to inject heroin. The little rabbit shouted from the lion from a distance: lion, lion, drug use is not good for your body, how fresh the air is, run with me ... I saw the lion rushing down the syringe and flattering the little rabbit. The elephant said to the lion and said: Why do you hit the little rabbit, he doesn't want us to hurt our body! The lion said: Since the rabbits have eaten the Tale pill, let me run with him every day!
54. In summer, a giraffe meets a rabbit, and she is proudly showing off her neck with rabbits: Ah, little rabbit, do you know how good a long neck is? Do you know how tender and sweet the leaves at the highest place are? Do you know the feeling of drinking water in summer? The refreshing water slowly passed through the neck. The rabbit glanced at her and only said: "Have you tried vomiting?"
55. Once my brother hit me, I hit my head. A bag. Later, my brother had to pretend to be Dongdong and didn't find the bag.
56. I used to have a marshmallow to play for a long time. He said: So tired, I think I am softened.
57. There were two snowmen in the past, one snowman said: I am so cold, and the other says: I am also cold, and the other says: Let's hold it together, so the two of them hug they. Together. You guess what happened later? Later, they died cold.
58. Occasionally, when you eat it honestly, an old farmer said to educate me, saying to me: Sixty years of bitter, no food, the nasal that has never been thrown out n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n R n59. There is a rich man looking for a servant. The question on the interview is to go to the toilet. After the first few days, he did not wash his hands and came out. Therefore, the rich took them away and had only one washed his hands, so the rich left him. But one day, the rich found that he came out without washing his hands. The rich asked him why? The servant answered: "I took the hand paper today ..."
60. At a big reduction, he walked in. "What do you buy?" "I want to buy dog food." "We have regulations, you must prove that you have dogs." "Where do you have such a rule?" The salesperson still did not agree to sell him without any way. The man had to go home to bring the dog and bought the dog food. After a few days, the man went to this store to buy a cat. "Give me two boxes of cats." "We have regulations, you must prove that you have a cat." It was still the salesperson, and the man had grinded her for a long time. I bought a cat without going home. A few days later, the man hugged a large carton with a hole in the store and found the salesperson. "What do you buy?" "You can reach it in your hand." Yeah, sticky. "" I want to buy two rolls of hand paper. "
61. Someone went to visit his grandmother with friends. When he talked to his grandmother, his friend began to eat the peanuts on the coffee table, and after eating the peanuts, when they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for your peanuts." ! Oh! Since my teeth are lit, I can only suck off their outer chocolate. Old, cough ...
62. Some people like the "spicy fan pot" dish . Once, he went to the restaurant and ordered the dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish had been sold. "Is it really finished?" He asked disappointed. "Sir, really finished. You see, the last one sold to the table. "The waiter replied. The man followed the waiter's instructions and saw a decent gentleman sitting in the neighbor. The gentleman's meals were almost eaten, but the" spicy fan pot "was still full. That person. I felt that the gentleman was wasteful, so he walked to the gentleman and pointed at the "spicy fan pot". He asked politely: "Sir, do you want it? "The gentleman shook his head with a lot of manners. So the man immediately sat down and picked up the sulfur and swallowed. The wind rolled the clouds, and half of the belly was after a while. The little mouse. A disgusting man spit out all the fans he ate back into the casserole. When he turned his stomach there, the gentleman looked at him with a very sympathetic eyes and said, "Is it disgusting? That's it ... "
63. On this day, the hotel owner was inspecting in the hall. A beggar came forward and said," Is the boss give a dental sign? "The boss sent him away. After a while, another beggar came to the toothpick. The boss thought that now the beggar does not have a meal to change the toothpick? Also give him a passing away. Here is a beggar. The boss said to him, "Are you here to have toothpicks? "The beggar said," Someone vomited, but I was one step late. I had been eaten by the two beggars in front of the two beggars. Now there are only soups. Can you give me a straw?
64. The boss and the second child took a plane, the second child faint, and vomited kept vomiting. A bag was full, and the boss had to take the bag. When he returned, he found that the whole machine was constantly vomiting. The boss asked the reason why the second child said, "I saw this bag full, and had to drink half a bag again, but they vomited all."
65. A priest was playing golf ball , A nun watched beside him. The first shot was off, and the priest scolded: "TMD, bend!" Then, the priest scolded again: "TMD, bend again!" Speaking of swear words God wants to punish. "As soon as the words fell, only a thunderbolt chopped the nun to death. The priest wondered: Why is it me who scolds people, why did she split a nun? At this time, I only listened to the voice of God from the sky: "TMD, I also missed it!"
66. Only when you can win the World Cup, God said: South Korea needs 50 years. South Korean coach cried: I couldn't see it. God also said: Japan needs 100 years. Japanese coach cried: I can't see it. Chinese coach quickly asked: How about us? God cried: I couldn't see it.
67. Three little white rabbits picked one mushroom two big ones to get some wild vegetables to eat together I ate my mushrooms The two big things said that they would not rest assured, so the little white rabbit went ~~~ In half a year later, the little white rabbit has not returned a big one and said it. Don't come back, let's eat. Another big thing to wait again ~~~ After a year, the little white rabbit has not had to wait for the two big discussions. We don't have to wait for us to eat it. At this moment, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the jungle and said angrily! I know you want to eat my mushrooms
68. Then do we say that the bear without a chick is called a female bear? The answer is the female bear, because the female bear had no chicks.
69. In the music class, the teacher played a song of Beethoven Xiaoming asked Xiaohua: "Do you understand music?" Xiahua: "Yes" Xiaoming: "Do you know what the teacher is playing?" Xiaohua: "Piano."
70. There were personal fishing and fishing. squid begged him: You let me go, don't bake me to eat. The person said: Okay, let me ask you a few questions. Squid is very happy to say: You take it, you take the test! Then this person baked the squid
71. Xiaoming lost a leg in a car accident, Imming lost another leg in a car accident Another car accident, Small and Xiaoming lost his other legs Themian Xiaoming, a car accident, lost his legs n Actually Xiaoming is a dog
72. One day, a pair of black stool saw a white stool, Black stool asked: Why are you so beautiful? This stool is very angry! He said: I am not a bowel movement! I am an ice cream !!!
73. When I hit mahjong, I suddenly stopped the power, so I had to buy a candle to continue fighting. After half an hour, I couldn't stand it anymore. One person said, "Let's turn on an electric fan, it's hot." Another person interface: "Can't open it. R n 74. During the college, I just bought a mobile phone, got a mobile card, and asked for the 1,860 artificial station to ask. I heard the lady of the Calls said politely: "Our land moves with business ..." The whole dormitory laughed!
75 .. One day, the teacher brought a group of children to the mountain to pick fruits, He announced: "Children, after finishing the fruit, we washed together and was washed together." All children ran to pick fruit. Once the collection time, all children gathered. Teacher: "Xiaohua, what are you picking?" Xiaohua: "I'm washing Apple because I picked it to an apple." R n Xiaomei: "I was washing tomatoes because I picked it to tomato." Teacher: "Children are great! What about you?" Aming Cloth shoes, because I step on the stool. "
76. A psychiatric person screamed: I am president, you all have to listen to me! This doctor asked him: Who said? I patients: God said. I heard here, a patient next to him jumped up: I never said it!
77. With a family, the whole family is very lazy. Dad calls his mother to do housework. My mother does not want to do it if she does n’t want to do it. The elder sister does not want to do it. surprise. Ask the puppy and say: Puppy, you will do housework?! The puppy said: No way, they do n’t do it, they ask me to do it. The guests are even more surprised, you can speak !!! Puppy: Hush! Under the whisper, otherwise they know that I can speak, and I will ask me to answer the phone ... !! 78. Run to the zoo to feed the monkey ... throw the peanuts to the monkey ... but a monkey will stuff the peanuts into the ass every time ... and then take it out to eat ... Lele feels very disgusting and ask the principal ... Why does the monkey have This strange move ... The principal explained: Because a person lost a big peach last year to eat it .. As a result, the big peach was unable to discharge from the butt ... Look at the amount of food into the buttocks, and dare to eat it if you can pull it out ...
79. Demon King: "Princess, you call no one to rescue you!" Princess: "Broken your throat!" No one: "Princess! I'm here to save you!" The demon king: "See the ghost ..." ghost: "Who found me?" N: "What is the matter of me?" The devil is dead! Intersection
80. In the past, there was a white cat and a black cat. One day, the white cat fell into the water. The black cat rescued it. R n Excuse me ... what is this sentence? Intersection Intersection Intersection Intersection Answer: Meow ...
81. Little White Rabbit jumps to the bread room, ask: "Boss, do you have a hundred small bread?" "Ah, I'm sorry, it's not so much" "This is so ..." The little white rabbit walked down with a desire. The next day, the little white rabbit jumps to the bread room, "Boss, is there a hundred small bread?" The boss: "I'm sorry, still not" Ah ... "The little white rabbit walked down again. The third day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bread room, "Boss, is there a hundred small bread?" The boss said happily: "Yes, yes, today we have the One hundred small bread !! " The white rabbit took out the money:" Great, I buy two! "
82. Fire team: Where did you get angry? The alarm: My home. The fire brigade: Where do I ask? The alarm: in the kitchen. In fire brigade: How do I mean? The alarm: Are you not a fire truck? Intersection
83. Coffee cups and water cups cross the road together. At this time, a grandfather shouted, "Be careful, now it's a red light." The road, but the water cup was bumped into the water by the truck. Why? Because the coffee cup has "ears", the water cup is not.
84. Two tomatoes go shopping. The first tomato suddenly walked quickly. The second tomato asked: "Where are we going?" The first tomato did not answer, the second tomato I asked again. The first tomato hadn't answered, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned around and said: Aren't we tomato? Can we speak?
85. Xiaoming and his classmates played "Liu Dehua" Xiaoming shouted loudly: "It is one of the four kings!" Said: I know it is "Sun Wukong!"
86. The little penguin asked his grandma one day, "Grandma Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yeah, of course you are penguins. "The little penguin asked Dad again," Dad, dad, am I a penguin? "" Yeah, you are a penguin, what's wrong? "" But, how do I feel so cold? " n n n n n R n87. Three college students were abducted. The bad guy tied him to the electric pole, and then asked him: Where are you from? If you don't say, you can call you! College Student A: I am from Jiaotong University, college student B: I am from Peking University, college student C: I am from Electric University (Electric Power University)! As a result, I was killed by electricity .... Cold ~~~
88. There was a horse in the past, I entered a bar, sitting on the bar to find a wine waiter, and the waiter said: You The face is so long ...
89. The prisoner was executed. Due to the poor quality of the bullet, the first shot did not sound, and then the second shot was turned on. Essence Essence The third shot. Essence Essence At this time, the prisoner cried, holding the bailiff's thigh and said: Big brother, you strangled me! Too fucking scary .....
90. Three people, together than testing the gun, by a black man against something as the target. The first person put an apple on the black's head, and then at a distance of 10 meters away, he raised his hand and broke the apple. He blown the muzzle and said: IM Zoro! " The second person put a cherry on the black head, and then raised his hand to break the cherry at a distance of 50 meters away. The third person put a sesame seeds on the head of the black man, and then raised his hand to break the black man's head at a distance of 100 meters away. n 91. Xiao Wang worked on the personnel department on the 10th floor. One month ago, he was transferred to the administrative department on the 9th floor ... Today, Xiao Wang went to the personnel department to find him: "Xiao Wang Are you there? " I answered the phone colleagues and said," Xiao Wang is no longer in person. " Xiao Wang classmate:" Ah!??, When did I know? Have time to send him? " " It doesn't matter, you can go below to find him "
92. My wife spent huge sums of money, and became a beautiful woman home a few days later! When entering the door, the husband who was puzzled said, "Why? Don't you know me?" The husband stunned, and then surprised: "Come in, my wife is not at home."
93. The woman walked at night, and suddenly saw a man who opened his arms and walked towards her, making a hug, and he came forward. The man fell to the ground and said: The third piece is, who I recruits who provokes, bring a piece of glass with glass. Is it so difficult to go home?
94. I chatted with a group of female colleagues this afternoon. Suddenly someone said that I was not a man, I was hot, I said, I said, I said it, I took it out for you, The girls laughed. One was the best. I said, I took out my ID card.
95. A little boy went to the countryside to spend the holiday with his relatives. His relatives lived in a farm, and the children played as much as possible, and saw many things that had never been seen before. When he returned home, he told everything to his mother. He said that it was impressed by him with a sow with a pig. What do sows do? The child said: "The piglets chase the sow and then turn the sows over and start tore the buttons on the belly."
96. Mom: "Son, son! Come! 'It is too Easy! 'What is it? " Son:" This is too simple'. " Mom:" Simply say it? " Son:" Ah, it's too simple ' ! " Mom:" Do you think I won't hit you? " . Then my mother asked: "What is the word" 'What'? " Son:" What '. " Mother:" I said:' What 'is it What do you mean? " Son:" What '! " finished, the mother taught her son again ... finished punishment, the mother asked: Ask you again, tell your mother obediently. " Son:" Um u_u ~. " Mom:" What do you mean by hearing that 'fuck'? " Son: "(Woo) ..."
97. The Ruroue said, "People call me, it sounds good!" N masters said, "People call me experts, and it sounds very nice!" Swordsman said, "You talk, I will go first
98. The of the college of the college said: I am the vocational college students of the "Iron Academy" saying: I am the mine of the School of Technical, the School of Technology, said: I left first!
99. White jade said: My name is white jade. turquoise jade said: My name is Jade. . A apricot jade said: You talk, I am leaving first
high end fashion jewelry wholesale 1. The principal and English teacher went to a middle school in France to visit. The principal gave a speech in the auditorium, and the English teacher made a translation.
Principal: "Teachers, classmates!"
English teacher: "Ladies and Gentlemen!" _-! After thinking about it, "Good Morning!"
President: "Good morning!"
English teacher: ... == "sweat
2. The ground is too dazzling. He must wear sunglasses to see things, but he couldn't find sunglasses, so he closed his eyes and climbed to the ground to find, climbing, and climbing his hands and feet to find sunglasses. Wearing sunglasses and shining in the mirror, I found out: Oh, I was a panda
3. A polar bear stayed lonely on the ice in the ice. Play, one, two, three, one last one, and then he died cold.
4. There was a bird in the past. Unfortunately, one day the corn field fire broke out, and all corn became popcorn !!! After the birds flew over ... I thought it was snowing, and it was cold.
5. Xiaoming Xinzheng sent the post. The next day came to the school. The classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiaoming, your head shape is like a kite! Xiaoming feels very wronged, and ran outside and crying, crying and crying He flew up.
6. The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly rejected it. None of the mixed people.
7. One day in the summer, two bananas are walking on the road. The banana in front suddenly feels hot. He said, so hot, I want to take off my clothes off. Drop. As a result, he peeled off the skin. As a result, the banana behind the banana fell. Then the banana that took off his clothes became a banana ~
8. One day, the three explorers finally finally finally Find the "Valley of Hope". In the legend, as long as you stand by the valley and shout what you want, and then jump in the valley, you will get what you want. So the three of them decided to try it out. Look.
The first is a ghost, so he shouted "Woman! woman! "The beauty of the next jumping fruit is really waiting for him.
The second is a nerd, shouting" Book, book book! "Then, jumping to the valley also got a book full of pits.
The third is an indecisive person. Zuo Zuo thought that he could not decide his favorite. After an hour, he finally made up his mind to determine I think it's the most useful banknote, so he walked to the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone, and he scolded "Shit! "Unexpectedly, a center of gravity fell down the valley.
9. Xiaoming, I will test the nest tomorrow, but at night, I watched TV
. Xiaoming's mother asked worried: Is the book finished? ? Tomorrow I want to take the exam.
Imming will quickly answer: Mom, I finish reading.
Muming Mom is very happy to praise Xiaoming: good, then you must get good tomorrow
Xiaoming Crying and saying: Mom, I mean, "Mom, I see, it's finished '.
10. Panda loves the deer deeply, but it is rejected when expressing love. Panda roar ~ Why? Why is it all? The deer said timidly: My mother said, all the bad teenagers in sunglasses
11. One day Xiaoming walked on the road! Suddenly, he felt sour! Why is this? Because Xiaoming stepped on the lemon!
12. Which of the most characters in Chinese characters is the coolest? Through pants (cool)
"coin" to "coin": Child. When you put on a doctoral hat, you are worth hundreds of times.
"ruler" said: Sister, the result came out. You are pregnant with twins.
"Chen" said to "giant": the same area as you. I have three rooms and two halls.
13. One day, a university teacher asked a student. There were ten birds on the tree. A shot was shot and how many left?
The student asked: Is it a silent pistol? Isn't the gunflow? 80-100 decibels. Isn't bird and criminal in this city? No offender. Are you sure the bird was really killed? Sure. At this time, the teacher was impatient: "You tell me how many birds left, OK? Is there a deaf in the birds on the tree? No. Did you be locked in a cage and hung on the tree? No. Is there any other trees on the side, whether there are other birds on the tree? No. If there are birds pregnant, is it a bird in the belly? Isn't it? Is there a flower with a bird? Ten. Teachers are already sweating, and the bells are ringing, but the students continue to ask: Are there any birds who are not afraid of death? Are you afraid of death. Will you kill two? No. Students are full of confidence in confidence Said: If your answer is not deceived, "If the birds killed, if you hang it on the tree, there is one left. If it falls, there will be no left. When the teacher spit white foam on the ground!
14. One day, someone passed the crossroads and found a super horrible thing. He found that Kakashi and Sun Wukong were laughing!
15. A long time ago, one night, there were three shrimp in the pond, hahaha, a female ghost put a fart to death.
16. A female star who engaged in biological research came to the earth. After turning around, she felt that there was a lot of human genes to learn from, so she caught a man and wanted to take him with Bring a text information about human genes. The volume of the spacecraft is small, and the information cannot be taken away. At the time of anxiety, the computer's computer helped the system: "There is a small stick on this person to solve all your problems ..." At this time, she suddenly realized, and said with a smile to the man, "..... .. Give me the U disk! ".
17. There was a trap and crossing the road. As a result, he was accidentally pressed by the truck. When he was dying, he looked at his body. "
18. Big brother, don't touch it! You touched the upper and down, Mao made you touch it. Such tender skin flowed by you! How do you let me sell in the future? This peach is fresh, even if you don't buy it!
19. There was a lamb in the past. One day he went out to play, but he met the big gray wolf. The big gray wolf said: I want to eat you! Intersection Intersection The lamb was shocked! Guess, what's the result? As a result, the big gray wolf ate the lamb.
20. There was a swordsman in the past. The others were very cold, the heart was cold, and the sword was cold. Finally, it was cold
21. Intersection Lu Da was frightened and ran faster, and finally became a highway
22. There was a tomato, which was mixed with stones and broke. There is also a tomato forcs. Numerous tomatoes have broken the last tomato and fell! Tomato sauce!
23. Lian John is annoyed: Damn, what can you do? Come on the price compensation.
24. One day, three small pigs built three huts in order to avoid the chase of the big gray wolf. The big gray wolf blows out the cottage, the wooden house, the brick house, and the three piglets to run desperately, but they are still caught up by the big gray wolf. The three piglets said desperately, do you look at it. We gave up, what about you. At this time, the big gray wolf laughed and kept saliva and said, "Then tell me where is the little red hat?
25. The elephant ranked in the middle of the road. A ant just passed by. It looked up at the peak of the clouds and mist, and could not help but sing: Ah Laosuo, this is the Qinghai -Tibet Plateau! ~~~~
26. When there is no paper on the railway, don't worry, the train will remind you: rubbing, rubbing, pants wipe! When a large number of paper is on the river, don't worry, the frog will tell you: stick, stick, stick!
27. There are two fake banknotes with fake banknotes with two fake banknotes. The two decided to get it from remote mountainous areas. They cried, and the farmers found them two 7 yuan.
28. The new phone call of someone happened to be refunded in the cinema, so people often call to ask the movie in the screening. At the beginning, he always explained that the phone was not a movie theater. It is already him now. Please do n’t call it again in the future. For a long time, he feels so annoying, so he said briefly when he received such a call: “You made a mistake!” It also saved some saliva. One day the other party came with a familiar voice: "What kind of film is being released now?" He said as usual: "You're wrong!" After a while, the other party replied, "Is it a domestic or foreign film?
29. One person climbed the wall out of school and was caught by the principal. The principal asked: Why not walk from the school gate? What? He pointed to his pants and said: Li Ning, everything is possible.
The principal asked again: What does it feel like over the wall? He pointed to the shoes and said: When I entered the school in the main entrance, the principal asked: Why don't I turn over the wall? He said: Anta, I choose, I like it. On the third day he wore a mixed noodle, the principal said: " Clothing. On the fourth day he wore a vest to school, the principal said that he could not wear a vest to school. He said, man, simple, Ai -Castle clothing. The principal said I want to remember you. , I am the master of my site.
30 Life is really boring. Last month, one of my buddies borrowed 4,000 yuan from me to do a plastic surgery, but now I do n’t know him at all. What is it look like, OH4000.
31. The robbery notice: The staff of the Bank only understands Spanish. Please be patient when robbery. n
32. Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, you have to throw the stone towards my head!
33. When donating blood, a hundred milliliters of lards flowed out.
34. Tourist: Master, is the grass house there? Monk: Except for that grass house, the rest are all places are all places. Toilet.
35. The hair is no trace, and the dandruff is more outstanding!
36. The stool and the urine are good brothers. I said: I really want to stool ...
37. I signed up for a weight loss training class yesterday. They asked me to wear loose clothes during training. What to sign up?
38. My wife and I have not spoken for 18 months. I have no chance to interrupt her.
n39. Money? Thief B: No, just read the newspaper tomorrow.
40. Go.
42. Wear other people's shoes, take their own way, and let them find it.
n43. Late at night, a young woman suddenly passed a psychiatric hospital, suddenly suddenly A "wow" came from behind. The woman turned her head and looked at it. The man of naked was chasing her. The woman was frightened and ran away. Kneeling on the ground and crying: "If you want to do whatever you want, just ask you not to kill me. The man smiled slyly and said, "Really? Then you start chasing me now. "
44. A literary party, the host came to the stage to report: below, please enjoy: Xinjiang song and dance, set off your skull! The whole audience is silent, creepy!!! n45. The tiger does not get a cat, you are sick when I am sick!
46. Our dormitory drinks too much to pee and then bring out a cold story: drink too much urine, the wine is particularly more wine, so there is a lot of wine. .
47. Go to Li Ning to buy shoes with my sister. My sister said: "Miss, how much is this shoe a pound? "
48. Previously, someone came to my aunt's house as a guest and just entered the door. Just my aunt was going to the toilet. Tea drink! "
49. During the college, a student and I argued with me, at the end of the wind. R n
50. When I was a kid, the popsicle ice cream was pushed with a bicycle for sale. Once, I listened to a aunt in the house and shouted: The new ice cream is hot. R n
51. My colleague argued with others, and hurriedly opened his mouth, "Do you think I grew up eating?" "I have been wondering what he eats."
52. KTV songs at a time, and shouted at a MM loud: "Double Jaylen" of the stick in the first week.
53. One day in the big forest, the fox is sucking marijuana. At this time, the little rabbit runs from a distance. When you see it all, come over and say: How can you suck cannabis, do you do it, and do it. Not good, look, how fresh the air, come and run with me. The fox thought about it, so they ran with the little rabbit and ran. They saw that the elephant was sucking heroin. The little rabbit ran over and said to the elephant: Elephant, elephant, what do you do? How fresh the air, run with me. The elephant wants to come and go together. Running and running, seeing the lion rolled up his sleeves, he was about to inject heroin. The little rabbit shouted from the lion from a distance: lion, lion, drug use is not good for your body, how fresh the air is, run with me ... I saw the lion rushing down the syringe and flattering the little rabbit. The elephant said to the lion and said: Why do you hit the little rabbit, he doesn't want us to hurt our body! The lion said: Since the rabbits have eaten the Tale pill, let me run with him every day!
54. In summer, a giraffe meets a rabbit, and she is proudly showing off her neck with rabbits: Ah, little rabbit, do you know how good a long neck is? Do you know how tender and sweet the leaves at the highest place are? Do you know the feeling of drinking water in summer? The refreshing water slowly passed through the neck. The rabbit glanced at her and only said: "Have you tried vomiting?"
55. Once my brother hit me, I hit my head. A bag. Later, my brother had to pretend to be Dongdong and didn't find the bag.
56. I used to have a marshmallow to play for a long time. He said: So tired, I think I am softened.
57. There were two snowmen in the past, one snowman said: I am so cold, and the other says: I am also cold, and the other says: Let's hold it together, so the two of them hug they. Together. You guess what happened later? Later, they died cold.
58. Occasionally, when you eat it honestly, an old farmer said to educate me, saying to me: Sixty years of bitter, no food, the nasal that has never been thrown out
n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n R n59. There is a rich man looking for a servant. The question on the interview is to go to the toilet. After the first few days, he did not wash his hands and came out. Therefore, the rich took them away and had only one washed his hands, so the rich left him. But one day, the rich found that he came out without washing his hands. The rich asked him why? The servant answered: "I took the hand paper today ..."
60. At a big reduction, he walked in. "What do you buy?" "I want to buy dog food." "We have regulations, you must prove that you have dogs." "Where do you have such a rule?" The salesperson still did not agree to sell him without any way. The man had to go home to bring the dog and bought the dog food. After a few days, the man went to this store to buy a cat. "Give me two boxes of cats." "We have regulations, you must prove that you have a cat." It was still the salesperson, and the man had grinded her for a long time. I bought a cat without going home. A few days later, the man hugged a large carton with a hole in the store and found the salesperson. "What do you buy?" "You can reach it in your hand." Yeah, sticky. "" I want to buy two rolls of hand paper. "
61. Someone went to visit his grandmother with friends. When he talked to his grandmother, his friend began to eat the peanuts on the coffee table, and after eating the peanuts, when they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for your peanuts." ! Oh! Since my teeth are lit, I can only suck off their outer chocolate. Old, cough ...
62. Some people like the "spicy fan pot" dish . Once, he went to the restaurant and ordered the dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish had been sold. "Is it really finished?" He asked disappointed. "Sir, really finished. You see, the last one sold to the table. "The waiter replied. The man followed the waiter's instructions and saw a decent gentleman sitting in the neighbor. The gentleman's meals were almost eaten, but the" spicy fan pot "was still full. That person. I felt that the gentleman was wasteful, so he walked to the gentleman and pointed at the "spicy fan pot". He asked politely: "Sir, do you want it? "The gentleman shook his head with a lot of manners. So the man immediately sat down and picked up the sulfur and swallowed. The wind rolled the clouds, and half of the belly was after a while. The little mouse. A disgusting man spit out all the fans he ate back into the casserole. When he turned his stomach there, the gentleman looked at him with a very sympathetic eyes and said, "Is it disgusting? That's it ... "
63. On this day, the hotel owner was inspecting in the hall. A beggar came forward and said," Is the boss give a dental sign? "The boss sent him away. After a while, another beggar came to the toothpick. The boss thought that now the beggar does not have a meal to change the toothpick? Also give him a passing away. Here is a beggar. The boss said to him, "Are you here to have toothpicks? "The beggar said," Someone vomited, but I was one step late. I had been eaten by the two beggars in front of the two beggars. Now there are only soups. Can you give me a straw?
64. The boss and the second child took a plane, the second child faint, and vomited kept vomiting. A bag was full, and the boss had to take the bag. When he returned, he found that the whole machine was constantly vomiting. The boss asked the reason why the second child said, "I saw this bag full, and had to drink half a bag again, but they vomited all."
65. A priest was playing golf ball , A nun watched beside him. The first shot was off, and the priest scolded: "TMD, bend!" Then, the priest scolded again: "TMD, bend again!" Speaking of swear words God wants to punish. "As soon as the words fell, only a thunderbolt chopped the nun to death. The priest wondered: Why is it me who scolds people, why did she split a nun? At this time, I only listened to the voice of God from the sky: "TMD, I also missed it!"
66. Only when you can win the World Cup, God said: South Korea needs 50 years. South Korean coach cried: I couldn't see it. God also said: Japan needs 100 years. Japanese coach cried: I can't see it. Chinese coach quickly asked: How about us? God cried: I couldn't see it.
67. Three little white rabbits picked one mushroom
two big ones to get some wild vegetables to eat together
I ate my mushrooms
The two big things said that they would not rest assured, so the little white rabbit went ~~~
In half a year later, the little white rabbit has not returned a big one and said it. Don't come back, let's eat. Another big thing to wait again ~~~ After a year, the little white rabbit has not had to wait for the two big discussions. We don't have to wait for us to eat it. At this moment, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the jungle and said angrily! I know you want to eat my mushrooms
68. Then do we say that the bear without a chick is called a female bear? The answer is the female bear, because the female bear had no chicks.
69. In the music class, the teacher played a song of Beethoven
Xiaoming asked Xiaohua: "Do you understand music?"
Xiahua: "Yes"
Xiaoming: "Do you know what the teacher is playing?"
Xiaohua: "Piano."
70. There were personal fishing and fishing.
squid begged him: You let me go, don't bake me to eat.
The person said: Okay, let me ask you a few questions.
Squid is very happy to say: You take it, you take the test!
Then this person baked the squid
71. Xiaoming lost a leg in a car accident,
Imming lost another leg in a car accident
Another car accident, Small and Xiaoming lost his other legs
Themian Xiaoming, a car accident, lost his legs
n Actually Xiaoming is a dog
72. One day, a pair of black stool saw a white stool,
Black stool asked: Why are you so beautiful?
This stool is very angry!
He said: I am not a bowel movement! I am an ice cream !!!
73. When I hit mahjong, I suddenly stopped the power, so I had to buy a candle to continue fighting. After half an hour, I couldn't stand it anymore. One person said, "Let's turn on an electric fan, it's hot." Another person interface: "Can't open it. R n
74. During the college, I just bought a mobile phone, got a mobile card, and asked for the 1,860 artificial station to ask. I heard the lady of the Calls said politely: "Our land moves with business ..." The whole dormitory laughed!
75 .. One day, the teacher brought a group of children to the mountain to pick fruits,
He announced: "Children, after finishing the fruit, we washed together and was washed together."
All children ran to pick fruit.
Once the collection time, all children gathered.
Teacher: "Xiaohua, what are you picking?"
Xiaohua: "I'm washing Apple because I picked it to an apple."
R n Xiaomei: "I was washing tomatoes because I picked it to tomato."
Teacher: "Children are great! What about you?"
Aming Cloth shoes, because I step on the stool. "
76. A psychiatric person screamed: I am president, you all have to listen to me!
This doctor asked him: Who said?
I patients: God said.
I heard here, a patient next to him jumped up: I never said it!
77. With a family, the whole family is very lazy. Dad calls his mother to do housework. My mother does not want to do it if she does n’t want to do it. The elder sister does not want to do it. surprise. Ask the puppy and say: Puppy, you will do housework?! The puppy said: No way, they do n’t do it, they ask me to do it. The guests are even more surprised, you can speak !!! Puppy: Hush! Under the whisper, otherwise they know that I can speak, and I will ask me to answer the phone ... !!
78. Run to the zoo to feed the monkey ... throw the peanuts to the monkey ... but a monkey will stuff the peanuts into the ass every time ... and then take it out to eat ... Lele feels very disgusting and ask the principal ... Why does the monkey have This strange move ... The principal explained: Because a person lost a big peach last year to eat it .. As a result, the big peach was unable to discharge from the butt ... Look at the amount of food into the buttocks, and dare to eat it if you can pull it out ...
79. Demon King: "Princess, you call no one to rescue you!"
Princess: "Broken your throat!"
No one: "Princess! I'm here to save you!"
The demon king: "See the ghost ..."
ghost: "Who found me?" N: "What is the matter of me?"
The devil is dead! Intersection
80. In the past, there was a white cat and a black cat. One day, the white cat fell into the water. The black cat rescued it. R n Excuse me ... what is this sentence? Intersection Intersection Intersection Intersection Answer: Meow ...
81. Little White Rabbit jumps to the bread room, ask: "Boss, do you have a hundred small bread?"
"Ah, I'm sorry, it's not so much"
"This is so ..." The little white rabbit walked down with a desire.
The next day, the little white rabbit jumps to the bread room, "Boss, is there a hundred small bread?"
The boss: "I'm sorry, still not" Ah ... "The little white rabbit walked down again.
The third day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bread room, "Boss, is there a hundred small bread?"
The boss said happily: "Yes, yes, today we have the One hundred small bread !! "
The white rabbit took out the money:" Great, I buy two! "
82. Fire team: Where did you get angry?
The alarm: My home.
The fire brigade: Where do I ask?
The alarm: in the kitchen.
In fire brigade: How do I mean?
The alarm: Are you not a fire truck? Intersection
83. Coffee cups and water cups cross the road together. At this time, a grandfather shouted, "Be careful, now it's a red light." The road, but the water cup was bumped into the water by the truck. Why? Because the coffee cup has "ears", the water cup is not.
84. Two tomatoes go shopping. The first tomato suddenly walked quickly. The second tomato asked: "Where are we going?" The first tomato did not answer, the second tomato I asked again. The first tomato hadn't answered, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned around and said: Aren't we tomato? Can we speak?
85. Xiaoming and his classmates played "Liu Dehua"
Xiaoming shouted loudly: "It is one of the four kings!"
Said: I know it is "Sun Wukong!"
86. The little penguin asked his grandma one day, "Grandma Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yeah, of course you are penguins. "The little penguin asked Dad again," Dad, dad, am I a penguin? "" Yeah, you are a penguin, what's wrong? "" But, how do I feel so cold? "
n n n n n R n87. Three college students were abducted. The bad guy tied him to the electric pole, and then asked him: Where are you from? If you don't say, you can call you! College Student A: I am from Jiaotong University, college student B: I am from Peking University, college student C: I am from Electric University (Electric Power University)! As a result, I was killed by electricity .... Cold ~~~
88. There was a horse in the past, I entered a bar, sitting on the bar to find a wine waiter, and the waiter said: You The face is so long ...
89. The prisoner was executed. Due to the poor quality of the bullet, the first shot did not sound, and then the second shot was turned on. Essence Essence The third shot. Essence Essence At this time, the prisoner cried, holding the bailiff's thigh and said: Big brother, you strangled me! Too fucking scary .....
90. Three people, together than testing the gun, by a black man against something as the target.
The first person put an apple on the black's head, and then at a distance of 10 meters away, he raised his hand and broke the apple. He blown the muzzle and said: IM Zoro! "
The second person put a cherry on the black head, and then raised his hand to break the cherry at a distance of 50 meters away. The third person put a sesame seeds on the head of the black man, and then raised his hand to break the black man's head at a distance of 100 meters away. n
91. Xiao Wang worked on the personnel department on the 10th floor. One month ago, he was transferred to the administrative department on the 9th floor ... Today, Xiao Wang went to the personnel department to find him: "Xiao Wang Are you there? "
I answered the phone colleagues and said," Xiao Wang is no longer in person. "
Xiao Wang classmate:" Ah!??, When did I know? Have time to send him? "
" It doesn't matter, you can go below to find him "
92. My wife spent huge sums of money, and became a beautiful woman home a few days later! When entering the door, the husband who was puzzled said, "Why? Don't you know me?" The husband stunned, and then surprised: "Come in, my wife is not at home."
93. The woman walked at night, and suddenly saw a man who opened his arms and walked towards her, making a hug, and he came forward. The man fell to the ground and said: The third piece is, who I recruits who provokes, bring a piece of glass with glass. Is it so difficult to go home?
94. I chatted with a group of female colleagues this afternoon. Suddenly someone said that I was not a man, I was hot, I said, I said, I said it, I took it out for you, The girls laughed. One was the best. I said, I took out my ID card.
95. A little boy went to the countryside to spend the holiday with his relatives. His relatives lived in a farm, and the children played as much as possible, and saw many things that had never been seen before. When he returned home, he told everything to his mother. He said that it was impressed by him with a sow with a pig.
What do sows do? The child said: "The piglets chase the sow and then turn the sows over and start tore the buttons on the belly."
96. Mom: "Son, son! Come! 'It is too Easy! 'What is it? "
Son:" This is too simple'. "
Mom:" Simply say it? "
Son:" Ah, it's too simple ' ! "
Mom:" Do you think I won't hit you? "
.
Then my mother asked:
"What is the word" 'What'? "
Son:" What '. "
Mother:" I said:' What 'is it What do you mean? "
Son:" What '! "
finished, the mother taught her son again ...
finished punishment, the mother asked:
Ask you again, tell your mother obediently. "
Son:" Um u_u ~. "
Mom:" What do you mean by hearing that 'fuck'? "
Son: "(Woo) ..."
97. The Ruroue said, "People call me, it sounds good!" N masters said, "People call me experts, and it sounds very nice!"
Swordsman said, "You talk, I will go first
98. The
of the college of the college said: I am the
vocational college students of the "Iron Academy" saying: I am the
mine of the School of Technical, the School of Technology, said: I left first!
99. White jade said: My name is white jade.
turquoise jade said: My name is Jade. .
A apricot jade said: You talk, I am leaving first